Why Does My Child Dislike Being Wet or Dirty?

This post is part of our “Why does my child…” series. If you’ve ever wondered why your child cries at drop off, or why they carry toys around everywhere, you’re not alone!

At Te Ōki, we’ve noticed that while some children dive headfirst into puddles or paint, others are far more cautious—carefully avoiding wet sleeves, sticky fingers, or muddy feet. If your child gets upset when their clothes are damp or their hands are dirty, you might be wondering: why does this bother them so much?

The answer often lies in their sensory system—specifically, how their developing brain processes touch, texture, temperature, and physical sensations. This isn’t about being “fussy” or “dramatic”—it’s often a completely valid and developmentally normal reaction.

Sensory Processing 101

Every child’s brain is wired to process information from the world around them—including sound, light, smell, movement, and touch. The way they interpret and respond to these sensory inputs is called sensory processing.

Some children are especially sensitive to tactile input. Wet clothes, squishy textures, or sticky fingers can feel intensely uncomfortable, triggering stress responses like crying, avoidance, or meltdowns. According to occupational therapists and researchers in early childhood development, sensory sensitivities are common—and not necessarily a cause for concern. Many children grow out of them with gentle support and positive experiences.

What Your Child Is Learning

Even when they seem distressed by sensory experiences, exposing them to different textures and temperatures supports your child to learn valuable skills:

🧠 Self-awareness: Recognising what feels good and what doesn’t.

🗣️ Communication: Expressing needs and preferences.

🧘 Body autonomy: Gaining confidence in making decisions about their own body.🌿 Sensory integration: Slowly learning to tolerate new textures and physical experiences.

How We Support Sensory Sensitivity at Te Ōki

At Te Ōki, we approach sensory sensitivity with empathy, patience, and responsiveness. Here's how we support your child:

• We observe carefully, recognising that some children need more time to warm up to sensory play.

• We offer alternatives—like paintbrushes instead of fingers, or warm water instead of cold, dry materials like shredded paper instead of wet, slimy gloop.

• We use language to narrate what’s happening and offer choices: “You can touch the gloop with your fingers, or you could use a spoon".

• We never force messy play—we know children need to feel safe and in control to learn.

• We support co-regulation during sensory overload, staying close and calm, and offering comfort if needed. Learn more about co-regulation and connection strategies in our blog about challenging behaviour.

• We encourage families to share strategies they use at home so we can offer consistency.

How You Can Support at Home

👕 Involve them in the process: Let them help with a range of messy experiences like peeling vegetables, baking, planting in the garden.

🧼 Use routines and language to prepare: Before washing hands, say: “We’re going to use soap to wash our hands—it might feel slippery. Let’s try it together.”

🗣️ Be mindful of your own reactions

Children are deeply attuned to how we respond. If we react with urgency or discomfort—“Oh no, you’re all muddy! Let’s get changed!”—we may unintentionally teach them that these sensations are something to avoid. Instead, try neutral or positive language like, “That mud looks squishy today!” or “You got wet! Let’s grab a towel together.”

🥦 Notice texture preferences in food too

Children who are sensitive to touch may also avoid certain foods because of how they feel in the mouth—like mushy banana, lumpy yoghurt, or textured vegetables. This isn’t about fussiness—it’s a sensory response. Offer a range of familiar and new foods with different textures, and keep mealtimes pressure-free.

📷 Share with us on Kebudel: We love hearing about what your child enjoys (or avoids!) at home. It helps us tailor our environment and better support them here at Te Ōki.

Final Thought

Being sensitive to wetness, dirt, or texture isn’t a problem—it’s part of how some children experience the world. With time, empathy, and the freedom to explore at their own pace, children can develop greater sensory confidence and resilience. Every child is different, and their learning journey is unique. Explore more of our blog series to better understand your child’s development.

At Te Ōki, we honour each child’s unique way of being in the world—and we’re here to support their learning with aroha and understanding.