More Than Just Play: What Your Child Is Really Learning

It’s a question many parents ask—especially when their child comes home with muddy clothes, paint on their sleeves, and no clear answer to “What did you do today?”

At Te Ōki Early Learning, we know that learning in the early years looks very different from what we might remember from school. It’s not about worksheets or sitting still—it’s about exploration, curiosity, and discovering who you are in the world. And while your child may not bring home a test result, what they are learning is deep, meaningful, and lasting.

What Does Te Whāriki Say?

Our teaching is guided by Te Whāriki, New Zealand’s early childhood curriculum. One of its core messages is that children learn through relationships—with people, places, and things. These relationships are the context where children build confidence, test ideas, and find their voice.

Te Whāriki describes learning as a process of developing:

• Dispositions for learning

• Working theories (more on that below!)

• Communication and social skills

• A sense of identity and belonging

It also highlights the importance of learning happening in culturally responsive, inclusive, and emotionally safe environments—which is something we work hard to uphold every day at Te Ōki.

Emotional and Social Competence: What Does That Mean?

A big part of your child’s learning journey is about developing emotional and social competence—two areas that form the backbone of lifelong wellbeing.

• Emotional competence means being able to recognise and name feelings, manage strong emotions, and express needs in appropriate ways. For example, learning to say “I’m sad” instead of hitting, or “I need help” instead of melting down.

• Social competence involves understanding how to interact with others, take turns, resolve conflict, show empathy, and build friendships. It’s about developing the ability to be part of a group while still feeling like a unique and valued individual.

These skills are developed through daily interactions, supported by trusted kaiako who model and guide children through the ups and downs of social play.

Self-Management: A Skill That Grows Over Time

Self-management is another powerful area of learning in the early years. It includes skills like:

• Dressing independently

• Making choices

• Managing transitions

• Waiting, listening, and taking turns

• Coping with disappointment or change

These aren’t just practical tasks—they’re signs of a child growing in independence and confidence. Developing self-management lays the foundation for success in school, relationships, and life beyond.

What Are Working Theories?

Children are natural scientists. They’re constantly building their own working theories—ideas and explanations based on what they see and experience.

A child watching ants might wonder where they live, why they carry things, or how they work together. A toddler pouring water again and again might be exploring gravity, volume, or cause and effect. These moments of play are full of learning—they’re how children test, adapt, and refine their understanding of the world.

Our role as kaiako is to notice these theories, support them with rich conversations and resources, and offer opportunities for children to keep exploring.

So, What Is Your Child Learning?

They’re learning to:

• Be curious and take initiative

• Manage their emotions and work through challenges

• Build friendships and navigate social dynamics

• Solve problems and test ideas

• Feel confident in who they are and what they can do

And most of all—they’re learning that they are capable, valued, and connected.

How Can I Support This at Home?

The great news is—you’re probably already doing it! Every time you encourage your child’s ideas, listen to their stories, or help them navigate big feelings, you’re supporting the very skills we nurture here at Te Ōki.

Here are some simple conversation starters you can use to connect with your child and reinforce their learning:

• 💬 “What made you feel proud today?” (Confidence, contribution)

• 💬 “Did anything surprise you today?” (Curiosity, working theories)

• 💬 “What was tricky? Did you find a way through it?” (Resilience, determination)

• 💬 “Who did you play with? What did you do together?” (Relationships, social competence)

• 💬 “Tell me about something you built, made, or imagined today.” (Creativity, communication)

These gentle prompts invite your child to reflect, share, and celebrate their learning—and remind them that what they do each day truly matters.

Final Thoughts

At Te Ōki Early Learning, we don’t just teach—we build relationships that support children to grow into brave, thoughtful, resilient learners. Every muddy puddle, block tower, and pretend tea party is packed full of meaning.

So next time your child says “I just played today,” smile. Because through that play, they’re developing the dispositions that will carry them through life.